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About Literature / Hobbyist MatsyTheDoctor25/Male/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 11 Years
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Johnlock Poem
I was told that I have no heart,
but this is far from the truth.
The reason that I know this
is because of John Hamish Watson.
I never believed that I had one either,
but John made sure to challenge this.
A man who I knew a lot about
had broken through the walls.
John Hamish Watson is my friend,
I only have one of them.
I fell from that building,
knowing what my fate was,
I fell to my death,
but I knew that he was safe,
My John.
:iconmatsythedoctor:MatsyTheDoctor 0 0
Just Run.
This is all I ever do.
I run when things get hard.
I disappear and leave people behind.
I tell myself that it's all temporary.
All I ever do is run.
I run from people I love.
I run from people I care about.
I keep running and running,
I don't expect anyone to chase me.
Hell, I wouldn't even chase me.
If I stop, even for a moment,
I'll have to remember.
I'll have to remember
what it's like to hurt again,
and what it's like to feel something.
So I just keep running and running.
Escaping myself, maybe if I run fast enough.
If I run faster, then maybe I can leave myself behind.
I can pretend as though I don't exist anymore.
I could kill myself off emotionally.
And people see me fall apart,
and I give them no hope.
I don't tell them things will be okay again.
I just keep running, leave people behind.
And when I stop, what happens then?
If I stand still and let someone catch up to me?
All I can do is cry and wish the worst upon myself.
But the person holds onto my hand.
And all I can do is p
:iconmatsythedoctor:MatsyTheDoctor 2 6
My Companionn
You're the salvage of the life time.
You're the only mystery worth solving.
To me, it's together or not at all.
You're my Clara, you're funny, and brilliant!
And me, well I'm your Doctor, aren't I?
We'll travels the stars, you and I.
Don't forget the Tardis key!
Don't forget that Wednesdays is when we'll fly together.
Don't forget me, your doctor, please.
I'll never forget you, I promise.
:iconmatsythedoctor:MatsyTheDoctor 1 0
LDR Collage~ by MatsyTheDoctor LDR Collage~ :iconmatsythedoctor:MatsyTheDoctor 0 0
Her True Form
The best woman out there
who makes her smile shine
and makes her heart glow.
She has a beauty that surpasses all,
and knows tales of the great unknown.
Her heart has no shadows dwelling within,
and her mirror matches with mine.
She stands there next to me,
and wears a very precious smile.
I smile back at her,
and I finally feel complete
after all of this time.
Thank you, dear one,
for all that you've done for me.
:iconmatsythedoctor:MatsyTheDoctor 0 0
I Miss You.
I miss you,
so damn much.
We don't talk like
we used to,
but I understand
that you're busy.
I care about
you deeply,
and I want
you to know
that I did
cry over you.
I cried because
I missed you dearly.
I'm not used to
this separation.
I want you to know
that when I get a job,
I'll be think of you.
I know you think of me too,
and I'm happy you're doing something
that you really do love.
You're such a beautiful person,
and crying over you is worth it.
Maybe I'm acting like a little boy,
but I do really care about you.
When we're both free again,
we'll have a date
and we'll talk a lot too.
Thank you for
having faith in me.
:iconmatsythedoctor:MatsyTheDoctor 4 2
Another War To Win
I was so fucking alone
and then you came along.
You showed me what it feels
to really be with someone.
To know what the word,
"Together." actually meant.
To know what it means
to be there for someone.
To know what it means
to like someone for them
with all the parts that
are not so perfect.
You showed me that I can
fight my inner demons,
and I don't have to do it alone.
Thank you for everything.
You're too precious for words now.
And you help me fight off
the darkness within myself.
:iconmatsythedoctor:MatsyTheDoctor 1 1
There are days where I feel like I can't go on, but I think of what you'd do.
You'd smile, and tell me to keep going.
You've seen worse times than I have, yet your smile is brighter than the sun.
Your heart is full of more love than any galaxy has worth of its stars!
Your laughter is such a beautiful sound.
Your kindness is found deep within your soul.
There you stand, stronger than before, and tell me to keep going.
You always take my breath away and all you have to say is, "Hello."
Your words are full of such wisdom that all I can do is stand looking at you amazed.
Your a beautiful soul whether you believe my words or not.
"I was so alone and I owe you so much."
You teach me daily new lessons of how to let go of the darkness within my heart.
You teach me what it means to smile and laugh for real this time.
The past is dissolving with every day that passes with you in it.
Erase the sadness from my heart and from my face.
Bring back to life the soul that dwells within my body.
Show me
:iconmatsythedoctor:MatsyTheDoctor 0 0
Who I am.
I hear a lot of words as the days go by,
the words that hit me the hardest is: confusion,
know who you are, follow the right path!
But I'm the one who makes the final decision,
and I'm learning about who I am.
I'm learning day by day who I am,
what my character looks like,
and how I feel in my heart.
I'm not going to apologize
because I don't fit into a mold
that someone designed for me.
I'm not "confused" about who I am,
who I like, and how I present myself.
If liking someone that I like is wrong to someone,
it doesn't seem wrong at all to me.
I'm beginning to understand how to define my happiness,
and learn that I have to live with consequences
whether they are good or bad in the end.
At the end of the day,
I do my best to smile
because I'm learning who I am inside,
and I don't need what's between my legs to define me.
My character is what defines me,
and I'm proud of who I am.
Sure, some days I don't like myself,
but I'm learning to like who I am,
and am delighted to see who I'll be
:iconmatsythedoctor:MatsyTheDoctor 1 3
When one has so much anger,
they turn it inward,
as well as outward.
But first, you turn it inward,
you have anger towards yourself
whether it's your image,
your weight, your hair,
your lack of smiles,
your idiocy, and your mistakes.
And then, you bury it deep.
As deep as it can go
in that dark pit of hate.
Deeper and deeper,
that's how deep it goes!
Unknown to all of us,
even to you, reader!
And then, your anger is outward,
towards everyone you know
whether it's a friend or enemy.
Anger is all that you have left.
Anger and hate, that's all.
Disgust in yourself happens.
And that's when you realize,
you're just a bottomless pit of hate.
:iconmatsythedoctor:MatsyTheDoctor 0 0
Wake up.
Cut my heart out.
Make me feel new.
No longer want death.
Wake up, self!
:iconmatsythedoctor:MatsyTheDoctor 2 1
My Universe.
You wake up one day and realize how beautiful life is.
To me, life can be beautiful when it's just me and the universe together.
Although, I finally figured out that your special somebody makes your universe beautiful with their inner and outer beauty.
I'll never be the same person I was in January, and I've never been more happier.
Life is full of surprises and you never know who might walk into your life.
You never know who can change your life in an instant just with a single word, "Hello."
Thank you for saying hello to me because you saved me from a heart full of darkness and sorrow.
You, who I cannot name, is now the light at the end of the tunnel.
The hope when I am hopeless, the smile when I cannot smile, and the laughter when I am mute.
Even in silence, as we look into each other's eyes, you've become my universe.
:iconmatsythedoctor:MatsyTheDoctor 1 0
Self Hate
Self hate is such a poisonous things.
It seeps in bones and it burns in my blood.
The feeling of loneliness is creeping in my bed at night.
My heart is splitting itself apart.
Every morning I awake to the sound of silence.
I can't stand this body of mine any longer.
I'll never be satisfied by my own body.
I can get thin as I want, but it won't be good enough.
My chest is such an ungodly weight on me figuratively and literally.
I feel the darkness within myself begin to come out.
They call it depression, but I call it rage.
I call it anger that is so powerful that it turns itself inward!
And this is how the great man has his own downfall.
I see such a disgusting being before me in the mirror.
I don't foresee how anybody can love such a being as myself.
How can I call myself a man when my heart is breaking itself apart?
How can I call myself a man when my body doesn't reflect who I am?
How can I live another day like this when I feel so dead inside?
I tell myself everything will be okay,
:iconmatsythedoctor:MatsyTheDoctor 2 9
Her Doctor Poem
Once upon a time, I met someone who was known as The Impossible Girl.
Little did I know that she would be intertwined into my world.
Little did I know just how special she'd be to me.
The Impossible Girl is the only name I gave her, and I told her that she's the only mystery worth solving. To this day I believe this as the truth, I cannot go another day without you.
Did you know that you have saved me more times then I can count?
Always there watching and waiting for a newer version of me to come around.
Patience is key and you've waited over 2,000 years for me.
How many more life times must you live before you meet me once more?
Here I am, The Impossible Girl, so come and find me again!
I might have a new face in the years to come, but I'm forever The Doctor.
:iconmatsythedoctor:MatsyTheDoctor 2 0
Her Collage by MatsyTheDoctor Her Collage :iconmatsythedoctor:MatsyTheDoctor 0 0 Her Collage 2 by MatsyTheDoctor Her Collage 2 :iconmatsythedoctor:MatsyTheDoctor 2 0


Tied Up
I tied our blades together today
I tied them up, to throw them away
For you had given it up for me,
Together we can,
                ...and will be free.
:iconaoncesuicidalpoet:AOnceSuicidalPoet 21 15
Dreaming for that summer by Copper--rose Dreaming for that summer :iconcopper--rose:Copper--rose 55 15 Dean Winchester's PUDDING! by TheNaitsyrk Dean Winchester's PUDDING! :iconthenaitsyrk:TheNaitsyrk 1,271 463 My first FtM makeup tutorial. by Sock-Monkey-Renegade My first FtM makeup tutorial. :iconsock-monkey-renegade:Sock-Monkey-Renegade 526 147 FTM poemlet by ImmortalImmoral FTM poemlet :iconimmortalimmoral:ImmortalImmoral 168 55 ftm Sherlock by SubSpracHgefuhl ftm Sherlock :iconsubsprachgefuhl:SubSpracHgefuhl 252 32 TransNation By Kohonane by PhaseAndDaze TransNation By Kohonane :iconphaseanddaze:PhaseAndDaze 6 9 Long Distance by Tuooneo Long Distance :icontuooneo:Tuooneo 128 13 Long Distance by Moatsartt Long Distance :iconmoatsartt:Moatsartt 117 11 In my Head by 101italy101 In my Head :icon101italy101:101italy101 3 2 Onigiri Journal Skin 1 by Anysayuri Onigiri Journal Skin 1 :iconanysayuri:Anysayuri 903 540 Doctor Who - The Doctor and Clara by The-last-Timelady Doctor Who - The Doctor and Clara :iconthe-last-timelady:The-last-Timelady 6 0 Mammon and sakutaro by heyhey00 Mammon and sakutaro :iconheyhey00:heyhey00 84 9 FrUK Skin C: by Zelda-HylainPrincess FrUK Skin C: :iconzelda-hylainprincess:Zelda-HylainPrincess 431 88 Amaimon Journal Skin by Proxyism Amaimon Journal Skin :iconproxyism:Proxyism 140 61 Educated Cat Ears Journal Skin by Meg-L-Walker Educated Cat Ears Journal Skin :iconmeg-l-walker:Meg-L-Walker 18 7




A good farewell.

Journal Entry: Sat Aug 24, 2013, 2:21 PM
I'm going to be going away for some time. 

I'm not positive if I'll be returning to my DeviantArt account at all.
If you wish to contact me then send me a note.

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Journal History


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KawaiiNekoRose Featured By Owner May 11, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday!!! :D :3
AOnceSuicidalPoet Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2013
Thank you for the watch :)
MatsyTheDoctor Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome! :hug:
squerelmaster5540 Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Tag a quality deviant, You’re it! Quality doesn’t mean that you have a lot of followers, or a lot of messages. It means that you’re nice to other people, and you deserve to be happy. If you get this message, someone is telling you that they love you as you are, and they don’t care how much followers you have. Send this to 10 deviants who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing will happen. But it’s just good to let someone know that you love them! ♥
kmills95 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for joining my group,


Feel free to submit any form of art in our number of folders... I may start working on making the folder names a bit more specific so that there's no confusion as to where to submit art and lit. :P

I'm hoping to start a monthly writing prompt soon, so watch the journals!

As always, if you have any questions, comments, suggestions, or [hopefully not] complaints, feel free to message me or post a comment on the group page.

MatsyTheDoctor Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Alright, thank you very much! <3
kmills95 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Of course ^.^
kmills95 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the watch!! Means a lot :)
IamDreamfire Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Thanks for the watch
MatsyTheDoctor Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the watch, too! <3
IamDreamfire Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Professional Writer
No prob
ImmortalImmoral Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fav and watch!
MatsyTheDoctor Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome! <3
jadean-gallowsraven Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Zomg Ryan I didn't even notice you found me haha!!
-4 months later-
MatsyTheDoctor Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, it's all good! :3
squerelmaster5540 Featured By Owner May 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday!!!
MatsyTheDoctor Featured By Owner May 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! <3
squerelmaster5540 Featured By Owner May 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No Problem :3
The-last-Timelady Featured By Owner May 11, 2013
thanks for the fave! :D
MatsyTheDoctor Featured By Owner May 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcomeeeee! :3

You have a nice username and such! <3 :3
The-last-Timelady Featured By Owner May 12, 2013
Aww! Thanks :heart:

MatsyTheDoctor Featured By Owner May 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome! ^_______^
(1 Reply)
Hidden by Owner
MatsyTheDoctor Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the lovely hug! :tighthug: <3
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